Motherhood

I've been a mom for a little over a month now so in no way do I claim to be an expert, I might not even have earned the right to vent about it this... but I'm going to. I'm not venting about being a mother or about being tired or sore or anything like that... but I want to vent about people who just don't get it. I am however not angry with them because two months ago I was one of those people. It's just so much harder than anyone could ever imagine, they don't realize just how long everything takes now and that you cannot just pick up and go somewhere. As a parent suddenly your choice on what you're going to do on friday night goes away, you don't pick up and go to a movie, you have no more hot steamy dates, not that we did that really in the first place, but still... the CHOICE to do so is gone.

The thing that has inspired this entry was something my dad said to me tonight. He asked if I had taken Logan to visit his secretary yet and I haven't so then he said that I really needed to, which I do and I feel bad I haven't yet but I continued to explain to him that half of the time I'm not all the way ready by the time she gets off work ... and then he laughed and said "She's there until 3:00" Ouch. And so maybe it's because I'm a new mom... or maybe it's because Logan is still so little or maybe both, but still! The point of the matter is that It's a BIG deal to get up in the morning. I'm not angry with him or with anyone who might smirk at the fact that at one in the afternoon I might still be in my pajamas because I know it's just because they haven't been here. I feel like saying, "Oh sorry, am I being rude by not being ready in time? I'm so sorry that I've been up throughout the night with a crying baby and that I then had to feed him and feed me, then get him ready... then feed him again... then ATTEMPT to shower and get myself ready, then feed him and kind of clean up my house or pay bills or do whatever it is that is needed to be done. All the while... he is either spitting out his binky and crying or just wanting to be held OR soiling his pants immediately after changing him. But sorry, I'll hurry next time." It's like seriously? Please please don't lecture me about not being somewhere on time or not having thank you cards written yet or make me feel bad about not having you over to "visit". It's a big deal to have a new born and a big deal to try to get things ready to go somewhere and for me at least a bigger deal and full of more stress to have people over. I'm a kind of a germaphobe when it comes to Logan and I think that is understandable. Ugh. I don't know, I love my family and I love my friends and I'm grateful for their support and love for us but it's hard sometimes. I know that I was so completely ignorant before I was a mother and so I know that their ignorance just comes from not having been a mother and for my female friends... you will one day know what I mean. Until then, please have patience and understanding for my 1:00 pm pajama'ed self :)

*Disclosure: In NO way am I complaining about being a Mother. Becoming a mother has been the most wonderful thing I have ever and will ever be blessed enough to experience. I wouldn't change it for all of the hot steamy dates in the world!